I’m listening to my grandmothers friend talk about how her 13 year old son was texting his 12 year old girlfriend and making plans to have sex with her and I’m just sitting here laughing because I haven’t even been kissed and this fetus is planning on banging someone
My adventures as a mayor.
the rough neighborhoods of italy are called the spaghetto
i love how other planet’s moons have cool names and then here we just have moon
*breaks a crayola crayon in half* H*CK the haters!!! *stomps on a caprisun pouch*
What “bad word” is h*ck…..? Isn’t this tumblr…?
yeah and on tumblr we dont fucking swear you fucking nerd
having a crush on someone who is dead set on not dating is probably the most annoying thing ever
having a crush on someone who is dead sucks too
When Arrested Development was being canceled, fans sent the producers frozen bananas.
When Roswell was being canceled, fans sent the producers bottles of tabasco sauce.
When Jericho was being canceled, fans sent the producers bags of peanuts.
I’m just saying, I think we all know why NBC decided to renew Hannibal.
be careful dont trip over my dick
you’re a 16 year old girl….
*policeman voice* alright sir im going to have to ask you a few questions. *pulls out notepad* where did you come from? where did you go? *slams fists on interrogation table* where DID you come from cotton eyed joe?
hearing teachers swear keeps me young
no one has a crush on me. i am too strong to be crushed
*asks santa for a good url*